And Now You're Gone.

It's been a week.

How can a whole week pass without you here?

The world is still turning, people are still going about their lives and doing trivial and menial things...  yet my world has been turned upside down and inside out and ripped apart...  and I just don't understand.

A week ago I gave you your morning medications.  You looked up at me from bed, you smiled sleepily and you played your cheeky goosy girl game...  I kissed you, I told you I loved you and I tucked you in again and let you go back to sleep.

You were tired...  my poor baby girl, you were so very very tired... 

And you did go back to sleep...  and that was it...  then our world ended.

I don't know, I feel so lost.  Everything we have done for the past four years...  every decision, every thought, every action, you have always been the central point for focus.  Even when decisions have been made for someone else, you were our deciding factor.

And now you're gone.

And we are just lost.

Yesterday we held your memorial service.  It was beautiful, it was really beautiful.  There were over 100 people that came, and everyone that was there was there because they love you.

There were reporters there from the Bulletin to write about the tribute for a lost little Princess.

We played a dvd from The Wiggles, a personal DVD that they made just for you.  They love you too.

We showed photos of you, a photo tribute to your life and how much you had achieved...  and in every photo you were smiling, you were bright and you were happy...  and you were oh, so very, very cheeky!

And then, when the service was all over, we went out and we released balloons.  100 purple, pink and white helium filled balloons, 12 Dora balloons and one Wiggles balloon that came just from The Wiggles.

Baby girl, it was so beautiful.  Everyone cried, and everyone told me that they had never seen a service that was so full of love. 

There has been so much love for you, so much love from all around the world.

But that is exactly as it should be. 

My house has been filled with the most beautiful fresh flowers...  orchids, lillies, roses, carnations...  so many colours, so many beautiful smells...  so many flowers that are fragile and precious and exceptionally gorgeous, just like you.

You may have only been 4 years old, but you were incredible.  You have lived a life well beyond your little years and you have seen so many dreams come true.  

You have humbled people, shown them love and kindness, shown them the meaning of bravery and courage.  You have taught people what life SHOULD be about.  

You have been an inspiration...  you have been a light of hope...  you have been an expression of love.

And now you're gone.

You are going to be so very missed...

You ARE so very missed.