The Terrible Twos

Being a mother to both 'normal' healthy children as well as a child with complex special needs, it gives me a bit of an insight into a world that can sometimes be very confusing and very confronting. I must confess that it is somewhat heartbreaking when I look at Nicola, who is now 2 years, 2 months and 11 days old...

I can't help but to compare her to Isabella, who at that same age, just last year, was astounding hospital social workers with her vocabulary skills, her ability to count, recognise colours, recite nursery rhymes and hold conversations with anyone around her... who could run and jump and skip and hop and dance...

And then I look at Nicola, who is non verbal and immobile.

She tries, I know she tries... she has audible sounds that she makes, some of which possess wordlike qualities and intentions, some of which are just babble... and she has her Makaton... she communicates effectively with us, because as her parents, we know her best... but the second anyone else is around, she clams up and goes back to her preferred method of communicating with the outside world...

Crying.

But, then, at the same time, there are moments that I am utterly thrilled that Nicola is who she is... like when her big sister Jessica, who is now 4.5 and quite the little Miss, gets her attitude on. She's taught Isabella well and when the two of them mouth off at each other, I can't help but to look at Nicola and smile.

There are times when I am grateful for the fact that she is developmentally delayed... I can revel in the knowledge that she will always retain a little bit of her innocence... that she will always be my sweet little baby girl...

And on those days, every now and then... she likes to surprise me.

Having a particularly bad day with the big girls who were tired and cranky and fighting each other, as well as fighting me, at every possible opportunity, I must confess that I was relieved that Nicola had woken up from her nap. I put ABC Kids on for the big girls and left them to go square eyed for a little while and went into her bedroom, scooping her up from her bed and smothering her in kisses, savouring the sweetness that is my beautiful little baby girl.

Bringing her out onto the lounge, I laid her down on the couch and sat down with her to have a chat and some tickles while changing her nappy, as we always do... and immediately she flipped over onto her side to watch The Wot Wots with her sisters.

I turned her back onto her back and within a second she had flipped herself back to the tv again.

I said to her; "Excuse me, I'm trying to talk to you!"

Her response?

She cast me the most withering look you could possibly imagine and immediately held out her hand.

Her communication was clear.

"Stop."

I guess it just goes to show several things...

* A mother can never lure attention away from The Wot Wots...
* Attitude can assert itself at any point...
and finally...
* Even developmental delays aren't enough to keep the terrible two's at bay!