Friday, April 26, 2013

6 Months Ago.

6 Months ago tonight...

6 months ago tonight I saw you smile.  You were, for a few hours, free from the pain that had plagued you for so long.  You were surrounded by the people who loved you, and you were the center of the universe.  

Quite happily you went from one cuddling embrace to another, lapping up the love from everyone around you.

6 months ago tonight we took all your dressings down, we de-needled your port and I took you into the shower.  We shampooed and conditioned the few stray whisps of hair that were left on your beautiful little head.  We played our soapy snuggles game.  We played 'wash the baby bum' and we had soapy tickles.

6 months ago tonight we dressed you in another brand new pair of jammies.  Ariel ones.  We snuggled you into your bed with your beloved dolly and we told you we love you.

6 months ago tonight you smiled and signed love to us.

6 months ago tomorrow our hearts were shattered into a million pieces.

It is so hard to comprehend that you have been gone for 6 months tomorrow.  I still wake up in the night because I hear you cry for me.  I still wake up and can hear you playing in your bed.  

Every day there are a million reminders around me of the fact that you just simply aren't here...  and I miss you.  

We all miss you.

I miss you so much it hurts...  and it hurts every minute of every day.  

6 months on and the pain hasn't gotten any easier...  

I don't think it ever will.



1 comment:

Halzel Lightworker said...

Hi hun
Kate Davey here, Ress's friend.
I still check back on your blog to see how things are going, and I still cry at most of your posts. Eva is now 2.5 years old and reading your blog reminds me of how incredibly lucky I am to have a healthy girl who I can physically hold - my heart aches for you when I read your thoughts and I wish I could take the pain from you. I think about you every now and then even though we have never met, I hope your christmas this year with your kids and hubby is pleasant and the least painful it can be. Thinking of you. xx

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