Sunday, January 1, 2012

Dear 2011

Dear 2011,

I am so very glad to see the end of you. I am glad that you are finally over. You are a year that has just dragged and dragged and gone from bad to worse to utterly horrific.

At the start of this year we sat down with our therapists and wrote our goals for the year. They weren't extensive, but they were the goals that we had been working on, and this year was supposed to be our year.

We saw progress, we saw incremental gains and improvements, we saw her finally start enjoying her therapy and being able to disassociate from the medical extremes and focus on the enjoyment that came from the little bits that we saw...

But no, you couldn't just give us that could you? You had to toy with our minds a bit, play a few little games... and f*** with our emotions.

First the subdural hematoma, then the surgery for her tonsils and adnoids... the behavioural problems, the underlaying pain management that we've never been able to control, the feeding issues, the breathing issues, the neuro issues... then when we finally thought we were good to go, we were given the news that her heart was getting worse.

Given the extensive nature of her heart problems we had thought that that was going to be the worst thing that we were dealing with, everything else was getting better... but no...

Then you had to go and deliver one last blow didn't you... you couldn't just disappear silently and let us move on and deal with everything else, you had to go just that one step further...

Cancer... You had to deliver the most final blow you could... you gave my daughter cancer.

I have gone through so many emotions this year, I have been up and down, I have been twisted around, I have been turned inside out, and I am still standing... I don't know how, I don't know why, but I'm still standing... And now it's over.

You're gone, over, finished... you will NEVER return again...

So, 2011... I have two words for you.

F*** YOU!


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