Sitting here, it is so very very difficult to believe that my beautiful baby is three years old. It is hard to believe that we have been fighting this fight for three years, and that she has survived the insurmountable odds that have stacked up against her.
The pride I feel now when I look at her is unbelievable. It surpasses anything that I ever thought was possible. Right from the very beginning she has made it very clear that she would do things her way, in her own time, when she was good and ready... and if that doesn't suit the rest of the world, then that's just too darn bad.
She has proved that she is strong and brave and smarter than people give her credit for... and that she is capable of miracles.
I have thought all day about what I was going to say in this blog entry, and I was going to do something big and deep and meaningful telling you who much I love her and how special and wonderful she is and how amazing etc...
And now that it's time to write it, it has occurred to me that I don't need to say any of that... because anyone who knows me knows how much I love my daughter, how special and wonderful she is and how amazing she is...
So I am just going to say this...
Nicola, you have turned my life upside down, inside out and back to front. You have taught me fear that I didn't know was possible, determination I didn't know I had... you have brought out a sense of humor that is almost macabre at times, and you have pushed my sanity to limits I didn't know existed...
But despite all that, I love you.
I love seeing the way you interact with the world, the way your face lights up with delight when you see something that pleases you, the way you communicate to tell us what you want. I love seeing the little things you do that surprise us every day... like today when you said 'cake'.
I love sharing every achievement you make with you, I love being there, watching you grow and learn, and watching the self awareness grow within you.
You drive me to the very limits of insanity, you reduce me to tears, you make me utterly crazy with frustration, but every second I get to spend with you is worth it.
I have been blessed to have you in my life and I hope that that blessing will be very long lived.
You are my heart, my soul, and my world. You, baby girl, are my everything!
Happy Birthday Sweet Princess.